CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer. 

BULL MARKET -- A random market  movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. 

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month  period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry  

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of  buying low and selling lower.
 
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of  investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. 

BROKER -- What my broker has made me. 

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell. 

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A person whose phone has been disconnected.    
 
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks. 
 
CASH  FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.  

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share. 

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past week investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse. 

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use

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